I want to share a poem I wrote several years ago - before I was married and thinking about having children of my own. But first, I'll give some background.
I believe in the possibility of knowing things before they happen. I do not claim to have psychic abilities, but every once in a while, something comes to my mind so clearly that it is like I am re-living an event. When I was young, I had a very strong feeling that I was going to become a mother to a child with special needs. While we aren't sure what happened with Charlotte, the doctor said it was highly likely that she had a cranio-facial abnormality. When it comes down to it, she was better off the way things happened.
Several years ago, I sat down to write. I had a feeling that something important needed to be said. Sometimes, when I am writing an exceptionally emotional poem, it comes to mind in the form of a song. This particular poem came to me to the tune of "Homeward Bound," the old English folk song. It's about saying goodbye. Something that now seems ominous.
Silence shows the road ahead,
my mind made up, yet slowly crying.
For the love I left behind,
My soul once strong, will soon be dying.
Her name I call, down empty highways.
Her eyes I seek through every door.
Though I may try to find her waiting,
Her face I'll see no more.
The daylight fades into the darkness,
my shadow hides, now tired and free.
My mind's made up, though this heart's crying,
that soon again, I will be me.
And in the late and slower hours,
I can find my peaceful soul.
What once kept fear inside my words,
now keeps me strong, my heart so full.
And though I try to change the pattern,
silently, my shadow falls.
The walls remind me of the time remaining
and I'll no longer roam the halls.
My silent tears no longer falling
from clouded eyes are still so blue.
How I try to keep the memory
of all the good I had in you.
When some fine day my heart stops breaking
and again I see you're free,
then in that time of new awaking,
I'll again return to me.
I see your light through distant shimmers.
Your joy and cheer are bright above.
And through your difference, I live forever
with the thought of a child's love.