Mommyhood

There comes a time in our lives when we wake up and realize that we aren't just a single individual anymore.  We are a wife, a mother, a teacher, a daughter, sister, friend ... but the signs of life as just "me" are hidden deep in the world of other responsibilities.
I know I'm not the first person to talk about it, and I won't be the last. I have discovered for myself, though, the importance of not letting go of my needs as Sarah.  I can't help my family if I neglect myself. 
So, I've taken charge and finally decided that it is time to get healthy.  I started about six weeks ago.  311.6 pounds.  I couldn't fit into the clothes I loved (even though there weren't very many. ..) and people around me who I never thought would lose weight were posting their success for the world to see. 
I wondered why they could do it but I couldn't.  The answer was simple, though.  I could.  The only thing standing in my way was me.  Excuses like "I don't have time, " or "its too hard for me" made it easy to decide not to do it. 
Then, I tried. 
It has been a small rollercoaster with loss and gain,  but I'm down 9 pounds in 6 weeks.  How can that be failure? 
I look at Natalie and Caitlin and while I will never love them less if they grow up to be fat,  I hope it isn't an issue for them. I want them to see that I was successful in my own quest to be healthy.  I don't want them to lose their mom to a heart attack in 5 years just because I couldn't find the motivation to get healthy.
While I see other's success and it pushes me to do the same, our reasons are all the same, too.  We want to see our children grow older with us.  We want to chase our grandkids through the sprinkler. We want our children to know that we love them enough to be healthy. And we want them to learn about self love.  Love yourself so that you can love others better.