Let it Snow!

It is the first snow of the year, finally! More notably, however, it is Natalie's first real snow - the first that she noticed there were little white flakes falling from the sky. So, of course, in proper childish fashion, we bundled up at 10pm to go play in the snow!
She loved it!
A fairy princess, or rather a pink marshmallow, Natalie was so beautiful standing in the snow, in the light from the house, flakes falling gently around her. At first, she was apprehensive, she didn't know what it was. After a few handfuls thrown her way, however, she started to get the idea! She truly is my snow-baby! I can't believe it's already Christmas time again - though Thanksgiving is this Thursday, that is close enough for me! I put up the tree, garland, some lights and our stockings (which I claim to be because that wall was so bare I couldn't stand it anymore, but we all know that isn't true!) I am ready to start baking and wrapping more presents, and showing all of my favorite Christmas movies to Natalie. I'm ready to indoctrinate her with the happiness of Christmas as a child, and hoping to re-gain some of the joy for myself as well.

What a crazy world...

I have no time to write anymore, but my life is so full, I'm not sure I can complain about not writing for a while... We now have Caitlin and Natalie keeping us running all day long, and I don't know that I had any clue parenting would be this exhausting.  I love every minute of it, and may only trade a few minutes of silence if I could... Caitlin is 15 months old and is a little firecracker! She is so smart, I'm afraid I can't keep up with her for long.  She is so remarkable!
Natalie is 3, and already knows how to add! Holy buckets!

Does the INSANITY ever end?

Don't get me wrong, motherhood is the most rewarding experience of my life so far. I love Natalie with everything I have and wouldn't trade her for anything in the world... possible exception of a Margarita night here and there. It has now, however, been confirmed for me that my mother might not be anything like a saint, but rather should have been committed to an insane asylum oh, say, 28 years ago...
My mother had me in 1983, when she was 25 years old. She then continued to have my brother in 1984 and our youngest brother in 1985. I wonder what in the world she was thinking, and then can only conclude that she wasn't. I have been pregnant a majority of the time I've been married now, and though I have an almost 2 year old and am 32 weeks pregnant with another, I think I should have been committed, too.
My husband, on the other hand, deserves a medal of honor. I cannot imagine being married to a hormonal, tired, cranky, starved wildebeast of a wife that I can sometimes be. I could blame the babies. After all, they cannot defend themselves. It's the perfect set-up. "The baby needs chocolate..." "I need to sleep so the baby can grow..." "This baby is sucking the life out of me..." Even my husband who has never been pregnant knows that's a line of, well, baby poo.
I wonder if our predecessors had the right idea, a tinge of whisky on the gums for "teething" (translation: shut up and sleep so I can) and letting the child cry itself to sleep (translation: I can't handle it anymore and its easier to tune you out.) I must admit that while the whisky trick is tempting, I'd never do it. I love Natalie too much to take that risk. I do, however, let her cry-it-out. I'm still lazy and use disposable diapers because it is infinitely easier than washing poop out of cloth. I let her have a cookie sometimes because it is easier than slicing an apple. I let her sit and watch television just so she will stop running the dog ragged for ten minutes. And, I blame most of this on her baby sister. (shhhh, don't tell anyone.)
Having felt Caitlin's movements for the past 4-5 months, I've developed an attachment to her that I really didn't get much of with Natalie just because I was so afraid to lose her. That doesn't change the fact that I'm beyond ready for her to evacuate the premises. I will hug her and hold her and feed her and change her, but I want my body back! So, in the meantime, I'll use her as an excuse. I can't mow the lawn or move the laundry around because it will hurt her...
Mostly, though, I just can't wait to meet her. Even though I know the insanity of two children running wild through my house will make me more tired and possibly less sane, I can't wait to see them smile and laugh with each other. Soon, my Natalie will not be the only baby in the house and while part of me is sad for that, I'm excited for her to learn what it means to be a big sister. She's going to be amazing and for that, I will sacrifice my sanity.

So after many many long months of not writing anything, here I am to say "HOLY COW!!!" I cannot believe how amazing Natalie is and how fast she grows and changes. She says so many things now and has even started to show more signs of independence. She puts on her own shoes, buckles her own carseat and even tries to put my shoes on for me! I don't know where the little baby went, but I now have an awesome toddler to chase around. Even less familiar to me now is energy - six months pregnant with a toddler in the heat of summer wasn't the best idea I've ever had. Natalie pokes at my belly and says "baby?" quite frequently and with how independent and helpful she is (she helped me make the bed tonight,) I know we will have no problems with her adjusting to being a big sister!
This past weekend we went back to my parents' house for the Fourth of July and (ugh) my 10 year high school reunion. She was a doll on the road and kept herself entertained really well. The only snafu we had was a period of about 2 hours when she just screamed and I didn't figure out until the 2 hours was almost through that all she wanted was her shoes off her feet... Well, live and learn I guess!
Natalie and her cousin Ze spent a lot of time running through sprinklers, playing in swimming pools, watching a parade and entertaining each other thoroughly! I was so proud of them both for how well they interacted. They shared nicely and even shared their mommies!
I am starting to realize as I wish for the next three months to fly by so I won't be pregnant anymore, that it means also that I only have three months left of time with just Natalie. It's bittersweet because I want to meet this new little one so desperately, but I cherish every second I have with Natalie. I felt so blessed to have had the entire weekend to just sit back and watch her be herself. I learned so much about her personality and her strengths and came home even more proud of the little person she is!

Summer Fun!

So after many many long months of not writing anything, here I am to say "HOLY COW!!!" I cannot believe how amazing Natalie is and how fast she grows and changes. She says so many things now and has even started to show more signs of independence. She puts on her own shoes, buckles her own carseat and even tries to put my shoes on for me! I don't know where the little baby went, but I now have an awesome toddler to chase around. Even less familiar to me now is energy - six months pregnant with a toddler in the heat of summer wasn't the best idea I've ever had. Natalie pokes at my belly and says "baby?" quite frequently and with how independent and helpful she is (she helped me make the bed tonight,) I know we will have no problems with her adjusting to being a big sister!
This past weekend we went back to my parents' house for the Fourth of July and (ugh) my 10 year high school reunion. She was a doll on the road and kept herself entertained really well. The only snafu we had was a period of about 2 hours when she just screamed and I didn't figure out until the 2 hours was almost through that all she wanted was her shoes off her feet... Well, live and learn I guess!
Natalie and her cousin Ze spent a lot of time running through sprinklers, playing in swimming pools, watching a parade and entertaining each other thoroughly! I was so proud of them both for how well they interacted. They shared nicely and even shared their mommies!
I am starting to realize as I wish for the next three months to fly by so I won't be pregnant anymore, that it means also that I only have three months left of time with just Natalie. It's bittersweet because I want to meet this new little one so desperately, but I cherish every second I have with Natalie. I felt so blessed to have had the entire weekend to just sit back and watch her be herself. I learned so much about her personality and her strengths and came home even more proud of the little person she is!

Ah, my sweet, sweet girl. She is so helpful around the house these days and it is going to become so important that she know how to help. We are expecting another baby this October, two days before Natalie turns two years old! She already seems to know that things are changing - she talks to my belly and I'm not really even showing yet! It amazes me how thoughtful she is...
Natalie can now take her diaper to the trash, dishes to the sink and she can tell us what she wants to eat, even if it's only nodding her head for "yes" or throwing her arms around and shouting "NO!" I feel bad that I don't write more for her right now, but I am so busy with school and work and spending valuable time with her that I forget that some day she might want some record of our early years together! There really is something magical about the time we have together.
My little girl is not so little anymore either. She is now in a converted crib - one side is gone so she can climb in and out on her own! She opens her door in the morning and comes into our room to wake us up (on the rare occasion that we pretend we can sleep in.) The little chubby rolls on her thighs that were so sweet and ticklish are almost gone - her legs and arms are looking more like toddler than infant, which makes sense as she wears off the baby fat by running everywhere and climing on literally everything she can! I am wondering how on earth I will keep up with two of these beautiful rugrats, but Natalie can do so much for herself right now that I am not worried. I know that Natalie will bring diapers to me, or bottles for the baby. She will be able to help with simple things - and she will love this new baby so much, too!
I am excited to see what happens when Natalie becomes a big sister!!!

It is the first snow of the year, finally! More notably, however, it is Natalie's first real snow - the first that she noticed there were little white flakes falling from the sky. So, of course, in proper childish fashion, we bundled up at 10pm to go play in the snow! She loved it! A fairy princess, or rather a pink marshmallow, Natalie was so beautiful standing in the snow, in the light from the house, flakes falling gently around her. At first, she was apprehensive, she didn't know what it was. After a few handfuls thrown her way, however, she started to get the idea! She truly is my snow-baby! I can't believe it's already Christmas time again - though Thanksgiving is this Thursday, that is close enough for me! I put up the tree, garland, some lights and our stockings (which I claim to be because that wall was so bare I couldn't stand it anymore, but we all know that isn't true!) I am ready to start baking and wrapping more presents, and showing all of my favorite Christmas movies to Natalie. I'm ready to indoctrinate her with the happiness of Christmas as a child, and hoping to re-gain some of the joy for myself as well. This will be our third Christmas without Charlotte and while I'm still saddened by that, it finally feels like we are ready to truly celebrate again. Natalie has brought more joy into this house than she will ever fully realize and it's only at Christmas time that I can even begin to match that joy for her! So, I say, let it begin! Let the joy from the Christmas spirit reach out to all of us and guide us through the rest of this year and into the next. Let the faith of the masses show us that no matter what we believe, that is all we must do: Believe. Let the beauty of childhood remind us that we are all still children at heart - that there is nothing more precious than the innocence of a child. Let us all know that there is good in the world, far more than the bad and even greater than we imagine. And most of all, let us simply do what we were born to do: Love. Natalie sure is good at teaching me to be more thankful!

Birthday Photos

Happy Birthday, Lovey!

Wow, a year already… It seems like time flies by faster with each moment, I am almost afraid to sleep, worried that tomorrow Natalie will be 18 and moving out of the house.  She amazes me and humbles me in so many ways!  Tonight, we were having dinner with some friends she hadn’t met before and she was so in love with them!  Of course, they were in love with her, too, but it was amazing to see how she can tell which people are good souls and which ones aren’t.  There have been people she has met along the way who she wants nothing to do with, while others are her favorite people instantly! 

She walks like a mad-woman now, scurrying along past tables, chairs, the dog… she knows how to go up and down a single stair (since we only have one in our house…) and when she falls down, she knows to pick herself back up and walk some more! 

Today, when I left the house, my darling girl gave me puckered kisses and said “bah bah” as I walked out the door.  It broke my heart with joy to hear her as she learns to talk.  I swear, the other day she even said “I love you”  She knows what she wants and how to get it now, even knows how to pull off her pajama bottoms so we can change her diaper!  She is a clever little monkey and climbs on EVERYTHING!!!  I think we will have to put locks on the top cabinets, she will be able to reach them magically soon enough!

I love you so much, my sweet Natalie Rose… I hope that every birthday is as special as this first one was – and that every year brings more joy to your life as you have already done for us!

Birthdays and Belly Buttons

Natalie is finally 1 year old! This previous Sunday, a group of us gathered to celebrate the life that exists in this beautiful creature who, only a short while ago, did not exist. Her beauty, strength, intelligence and sense of humor only grow exponentially with each day and as we sat around watching her interact with the people around her, we noticed that she really is just a tiny human being.

Last year, she did nothing but eat, sleep, poop... now, she eats solid foods, sleeps through the night and tells us when her diaper is full. She plays peek-a-boo with blankets, or by holding her hands over her eyes. She loves to hold on to a blanket or stuffed animal. She gives kisses, hugs, smiles. She is even beginning to walk. The tiny person we thought was so fragile this time a year ago is now a strong, opinionated little girl with a beautiful personality and the brains to make us feel like maybe we won't be smart enough for her. She learns so fast, we had no idea. She is even learning parts of her body. She can point to her nose and, she can lift her shirt to show us her belly button! She has no idea that one year ago, her belly button still had bits of umbilical cord attached to it. She doesn't know yet that that cord is with her older sister, binding them through love they could not even begin to imagine. As my world gets more complicated with school and a toddler, it gets more amazing with every new step she takes, every new set of words, even the expressions on her face.

My little girl is starting to hold on conversations and, while we don't hear clear words, we are starting to hear the beginnings of words: "puhpuh" for puppy, "dada" for dad, "mama" for mom, "see" for sleep, and as her "l" sounds get more pronounced, we are just waiting for the first time she says "I love you." She certainly hears it often enough, it would be a likely first phrase.

Her party was a huge success, like everything she has tackled so far! She loves to eat pickles, bananas, lemons and even jalapeno cheddar bratwurst. When she falls down, she laughs and gets back up. She problem solves and finds solutions to things we didn't even think of. Not only is she learning new things every day, but so are we! It's hard to realize that this is only the first small step in the wonder that is Natalie. We've been through so much the past 2 years that it's impossible to imagine what the world would be like without her. We are so blessed, so loved and so excited to see what is next!